I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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