My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
