whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I supernannyed him into submission
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
