i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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