I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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