Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
