if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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