Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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