She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize