I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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