i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish you could order shots online.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
