Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Panties = found
Randomize
