in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
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Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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