Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
