i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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