Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
