It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
