Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
