I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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