What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
