That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
