Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
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Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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