so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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