Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
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True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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