its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
