ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
