Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
