everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize