Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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