So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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