last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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