I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize