Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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