Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
