You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize