you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
