Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
As shirtless as possible
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
