i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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