My nipple is on Facebook.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
