i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
