Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
