what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
