every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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