found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
