I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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