His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize