There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize