8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we're making bets on your personal life
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
