I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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