Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I checked into jail on foursquare
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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