Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
