well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
