So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
