Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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