So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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