Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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